How to Live Life After Graduation
Post-graduation depression is real. While I can’t claim I’ve been in anywhere near a bad enough place, mentally, as some cases I’ve read about, adjusting to my post-graduation life ever since May of this year (2019) has taken, and still takes, time, energy and thought from me. That’s because a number of things change when you move from student life to (in my case) gainful employment. I’m not attempting an exhaustive list here by any means, but I’ve noticed a couple of major changes in my life since graduation:
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Firstly, keeping up friendships and relationships becomes harder. My alma mater, Brandon University, is a relatively small school with an even smaller Computer Science program. For quantification, though Comp Sci I started out with about 50-60 students, that number had eventually dwindled to only four in my graduating class, even if not all of my classmates graduated at the same time. With a computer lab/study space dedicated to us in each of our third and fourth years, those of us who were in it for the long haul had become a close-knit group of classmates, helping each other out, venting about the difficulty of our coursework, and generally shooting the breeze in between classes and during spare periods. In addition, these small class sizes gave us plenty of opportunity to bond with our professors, which helped us out in ways both tangible and intangible. We got these connections “for free”, being conveniently placed in a group that shared a field of study, the academic experience, and (for us students) a fine-grained age cohort and all of the shared cultural and communal experience, even outside of university that comes with it. None of these social lubricants are guaranteed to persist when you move on to the work force. You may end up working with a much wider age range, with many of the colleagues you see daily working in other fields from you, and not much in common to speak of. At my young age (22), I even find myself relating more to some of my co-workers’ children, when they come up in break room conversations, than my co-workers themselves. This is by no means a dig against my employer, but simply something one has to face, to one extent or another, in any work environment. And since you don’t see your classmates daily anymore, it becomes harder to keep those connections going, especially if they move away to other cities, provinces, or even countries.
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Secondly, you lose a major source of clear-cut life goals. Speaking of getting things “for free”, getting your degree is a major accomplishment that takes some years to work towards, and being society’s “happy path” to a comfortable, intellectually satisfying life, the goal is even placed into your lap during high school, a time during which people start to figure out what they want from their lives (though this process extends until post-secondary for some). In addition, that goal is split up into several, smaller sub-goals, such as passing the classes you need for your degree, completing assignments, and studying for tests. I had the good fortune of being hired for an internship two years into my university education, which I continued on in varying capacities until my graduation, when I started full-time work with the same company. So when graduation rolled around, I had already got the degree and got the job. I, being exhausted from and disinterested in further schooling, and having not enough on-the-job experience to make any major career moves, started to face a large, deeply troubling question: “Now what?” Another harsh reality to face, after all, is that no matter how much you align with the goals of the company you work for, as long as you didn’t come up with them, they’ll never truly be your goals, so you won’t internalize and vibe with them to the same extent, even if they may come close. Aside from working your way up to a high enough level on the totem pole, which can take a long time, or starting your own business, which can be too risky for most to be comfortable with, there doesn’t seem to be a solution to this problem that exists within the realm of one’s day job, at least.
These are still things that I grapple with every so often, but I’m getting better at it. Over time, I’ve picked up the following pointers, and I hope they can be of use for anyone in a similar situation. Of course, this list isn’t exhaustive, either, and you may find other things that help you adjust to your new, post-graduation life:
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Above all, count your blessings. No work that you don’t have complete control over, which includes the vast majority of developer jobs, will ever provide complete personal fulfillment all of the time. On the other hand, there’s a great many other perks your job may provide, such as a good salary, reasonable hours, and knowing that someone out there is getting value out of you doing something you’re interested in. This “it could be worse” way of thinking goes a long way in changing attitudes, so that changing your situation is something that’s only done when you truly need to (and trust me, you’ll know when you need to).
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Recognize you have finite time, energy and abilities. This is somewhat of a recurring theme I keep speaking of, but an important one that deserves recounting before I go any further. We can only do so much in a day, so by cutting out the parts of our day that don’t matter to us, we leave more time for the parts that do matter to us. Your mileage may vary on what exactly this is, but with time, you will be able to tell by your gut instinct. With that in mind…
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Keep up your old relationships, and build new ones. Some will be harder than others to start and maintain, due to factors like distance, time spent around each other, and so on, but the easiest relationships (between friends, colleagues, etc.) to keep up won’t necessarily be the most rewarding. Stick with those you can get something out of, whether that be companionship, mentorship, mutual inspiration to do better, or something else entirely. However, it may be worth your while to give those in your current situation with whom you haven’t bonded with a chance, or even to put yourself out into the world with the intent of making new connections.
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Set goals for yourself. Despite this being a devblog, these don’t need to be strictly programming-related. One of my current goals is to learn Haskell, which is why most of my programming-related articles have been about that recently. I also keep a list of ideas for side projects, in case I’m ever starving for an idea. However, I also feel like I might want to bake a loaf of sourdough bread from scratch, or make a car repair by myself, or even write something (like this blog post). These don’t have to have a strict deadline or criteria, by any means, they can simply be done when a flash of inspiration strikes, and especially keeping in mind the point about finite time and energy.
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Keep learning. This also doesn’t need to be programming-related. Pick something you want to become better at or know more about, and make an effort to learn about it. Chances are this will tie in with the point about goals, and that’s perfectly fine.
P.S.: It just so happened that I finished off this article on Christmas Eve, so while I’m here, happy holidays to you and your loved ones! See you next decade.